“NORMAL” STRESS REACTIONS TO TRAUMA/DEATH

It is important to remember that trauma and stress reactions are normal reactions to abnormal situations. It is difficult to predict how you or another person will respond to the death of someone close to you. It is important to allow yourself and others permission to have your reactions, to take care of yourself, and to ask for help as best as you can. Many people find it helpful to have information about what constitutes a typical reaction to trauma.

Below are listed some such reactions:

Physiological and Emotional

• Feelings of sadness, moodiness, more crying than usual
• Feelings of numbness or detachment
• Heightened anxiety or fear; fears about death of others, anxiety about future without the company of the one who died, fears of being alone
• Irritability, restlessness, over excitability
• Hyper vigilance, excessive fear that something will happen to you or others
• “Survivor guilt” or feelings of self-blame that you’re alive
• Mood swings: small reminders or emotional events that seem insignificant can trigger sudden changes in mood or intense reactions

Cognitive

• Difficulty concentrating
• Feeling confused, disoriented, distracted, not able to think as quickly or easily as usual
• Difficulty making decisions that normally would be easy
• Ruminating about the death or the person who died

Physical

• Headaches
• Nausea or upset stomach
• Exaggerated startle response
• Fatigue, feeling slowed down: a lot of energy goes into grief work. It can be overwhelming and physically draining

Behavioral

• Hyperactivity or less activity than usual
• Withdrawal, social isolation
• Avoidance of activities or places that bring memories of the person or the event
• Loss of appetite
• Insomnia: inability to fall asleep or stay asleep, disrupted sleep, deep sadness upon awakening

STRATEGIES FOR COPING WITH FEAR AFTER A TRAUMATIC EVENT

After witnessing, experiencing, or hearing about the details of a violent or threatening event, many people experience a heightened sense of vulnerability or fear. In order to better manage this fear reaction, the following suggestions are offered:

1. Validate the fear

Know that it is normal to feel fear and accept the range of emotions we are experiencing.

2. Share the fear with others

Meeting with others who are willing/able to listen to your fear or to share their fear reactions with you can be helpful. Even if you do not feel like talking, being with others who are experiencing the same feelings and talking about them can be useful.

3. Find ways not to be alone

Spend time with others in order to provide a safe, comforting environment for you. If fears are more intense at night, invite a friend to spend the night with you or go to his/her home or room.

4. Share responsibilities for tasks

Any activities associated with a traumatic event can be more difficult for awhile. Find ways of sharing those tasks until they become less frightening.

5. Look for ways to be involved

Actively participate in community responses and actions, such as discussions and services that offer hope and actions that help others.

6. Create a safe environment

Take time to critically evaluate the physical surroundings in which you live and work and find ways to increase your sense of safety.

7. Get accurate information about the trauma

Get useful, accurate information in a crisis. Avoid people who exaggerate or catastrophize about events. With accurate information you have more power with which to deal with the event or your reactions to it.

8. Recognize the normal reactions to fear

Get useful, accurate information about normal reactions to trauma. It is easier to deal with intense reactions when you can remember that such “abnormal” reactions are really normal reactions to an abnormal situation.

9. Remember that you cannot control everything

No one is able to completely predict, prevent, or control the actions of others or all situations that might arise. Integrating this fact into your view of your life is psychologically healthy and can help you better assess what those things are that you can have some control over.

10. Give yourself time

Realize that the passage of time will decrease your fear response. The passage of time is aided by taking steps such as those listed above.

If over time your fear reactions to a traumatic life event continue to significantly affect your daily functioning, it may help to talk to someone at the Counseling Center, 464-5002.