Event 1
The Cell Phone Race

In the cell phone race two teams (the winning team and the losing team) pointlessly compete to demonstrate the phenomenon of time-space compression. Each team is divided into an A squad and a B squad. Runners are designated for each squad. Runners for the winning team are equipped with cell phones while the runners for the losing team actually run. The course consists of 4 different way points and the finish line. Each individual squad will visit two of these waypoints before reaching the finish line. Competitors do not know the locations of the way points before the race. Rather the destinations are written on folded scraps of paper sealed with tape and labeled with the way point number. Each squad is given the waypoints for the other squad on their team. When the race starts, the B squad for each team opens the first paper scrap and must communicate the waypoint location written there to the A squad on their team via cell phone or runner. Once the destination is known, the A squad may run to that destination, but may not open the scrap of paper for the B squad's next destination until they reach it. Since the destinations are the same for both teams, the winning team must be careful not to shout out the locations of their waypoints and the finish line so that the losing team does not prematurely learn the location of their next waypoint. All members of each team must reach the finish line in order to win. Unless the losing team cheats or the winning team gets disorganized the team with the cell phones will win.

Fall 2004 Results: As expected the Winning team won and the losing team lost.

The first squad from the losing team reaches the finish long after the winning team.

Squad B from the winning team uses a cell phone to communicate the first waypoint to their team mates in squad A.

The Race is On!

A runner for the losing team dashes off to communicate the next waypoint to the rest of his team.

Both squads for the winning team sprint for the finish line.

Event 2
Cell Phone Poetry Race

The cell phone poetry race also involves two teams divided into two squads. The squads for each team are separated by a sufficient distance to prevent being able to hear the other squad. Each team must complete a 10 line poem. The squads alternate writing the lines of the poem. Each pair of lines in the poem must rhyme. The winning team may communicate using their cell phones while the losing team uses a pair of runners to communicate. Each team must only write one line at a time. It is not permissible for one squad to write all of its lines and then hand off their work to be completed by the other squad. The team with the cell phones usually wins, barring dead batteries, loss of service, or engaging in too much discussion about the lines in the poem. The poetry is most always dreadful.

Fall 2004 Results: In a surprise upset the losing team won and the winning team lost.

The Losing Team's Poem (The team that actually won)

I'm in college, it's a beautiful day
It's just something I like to say
I wish I were graduating, I wish it were May
If it were not so I would be in dismay.
I've got a lot to study, but its okay
Man this butter tastes like crappy Parkay
But it surely beats eating hay
Which, if someone asks, would be quite risqué.
But that's how I do it, its just my way
Winning this competition is a great hooray
(Bonus Line!) With a poem like this we'll need something to keep the girls at bay

The Winning Team's Poem (The team that actually lost)

They wish they had a phone
But instead they all will groan
And still to this day they moan
While we listen to a ring tone
Use a string and two cones
So they don't have to throw a stone
They run down the sidewalk
Just to talk
Our team is going to win

But of course they didn't because that's only nine lines!

The losing team works on the first line of their poem.

The winning team works on the first lines of their poem using a cell phone

The runner for the losing team conveys their evolving masterpiece to the other squad for an additional line while his teammates anxiously await his return.

In a surprise upset, the losing team actually wins and the winning team loses! Turns out the wining team (the team that actually lost) spent too much time debating the lines of their poem on the phone.