{"id":11660,"date":"2025-09-09T16:56:15","date_gmt":"2025-09-09T16:56:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/?p=11660"},"modified":"2025-09-11T15:03:09","modified_gmt":"2025-09-11T15:03:09","slug":"asking-for-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/asking-for-help\/","title":{"rendered":"Asking for Help"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A few things that are true:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li class=\"has-medium-font-size\">You have many strengths.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"has-medium-font-size\">You are capable of even more than you think you are.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"has-medium-font-size\">You are able to handle a lot on your own.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But here\u2019s the big thing:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li class=\"has-medium-font-size\">You don\u2019t actually <em>have to<\/em> handle things on your own.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There\u2019s a famous story of one of Jesus&#8217; healings in which a person needs help even getting to Jesus. In the story Jesus is in a building, surrounded by people who have come to hear him teach and to receive healing. One group of men approaches, carrying their friend, who is paralyzed, but the people are packed in so tight around Jesus that these men can\u2019t get to him.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But they\u2019ve already come all this way \u2013 <em>carrying their friend<\/em> \u2013 and they are not about to give up. So they somehow get their friend up onto the roof and then lower him in through the ceiling, dropping him right in front of Jesus. Jesus publicly forgives his sins and then heals him. The story ends with the crowd saying, \u201cWe have seen strange things today\u201d (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Luke%205%3A17-26&amp;version=NRSVA\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Luke 5:17-26<\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The paralyzed man\u2019s story most obviously reminds us that there are times when we <em>need<\/em> help from others. There are things we simply cannot do on our own (carry a dresser up three flights of stairs; fix the office copier). There are happenings in life that put us in a place of need (a surgery; loneliness).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps those cases of unavoidable need for other people can themselves be teaching moments. Moments that remind us: we don\u2019t have to wait until we have no other choice but to ask for help, to seek companionship, to do this thing called life together. We are, in fact, meant to be interdependent. It not only eases our burdens \u2013 it fills our lives with joy and meaning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A couple things that are myths:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">1. Asking another person for help puts a burden on them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><a href=\"https:\/\/news.stanford.edu\/stories\/2022\/09\/asking-help-hard-people-want-help-realize\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Research shows<\/a> that most people are more willing to help us than we assume they are. As social psychologist Xuan Zhao says: \u201c&#8230;empathizing with and helping others in need seems to be an intuitive response\u2026people often feel happier after conducting acts of kindness.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Asking for a specific form of help often <em>reduces<\/em> the burden or awkwardness another person feels; people want to help others, and telling them how to do so gives them a clear way to do it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">2. If you ask for help, other people will think of you as \u201cweak.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Research shows that asking for help or advice often makes others see you as <em>more<\/em> competent.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Asking for help, accepting help \u2013 these things do even more than help us. They&nbsp; help build relationships and a stronger community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">From the Book of Ecclesiastes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cTwo are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other, but woe to anyone who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? And though one might prevail against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken\u201d (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2013 Pastor Kate<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/chapel\/katherine-museus-dabay\/\">Rev. Katherine Museu<\/a>s<\/em>&nbsp;and&nbsp;<em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/chapel\/james-wetzstein\/\">Rev. James A. Wetzstein<\/a>&nbsp;serve as university pastors at the Chapel of the Resurrection at Valparaiso University and take turns writing weekly devotions<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-small-font-size wp-block-paragraph\">Sources<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-small-font-size wp-block-paragraph\">Melissa De Witte, <a href=\"https:\/\/news.stanford.edu\/stories\/2022\/09\/asking-help-hard-people-want-help-realize\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u201cAsking for help is hard, but people want to help more than we realize, Stanford scholar says,\u201d<\/a> (interview with Xuan Zhao), <em>Stanford Report<\/em>, 8 September 2022.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-small-font-size wp-block-paragraph\">Xuan Zhao and Nicholas Epley, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.xuan-zhao.com\/uploads\/5\/6\/1\/6\/5616522\/happy_to_have_helped_final.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u201cSurprisingly Happy to Have Helped: Underestimating Prosociality Creates a Misplaced Barrier to Asking for Help,\u201d<\/a><em>Psychological Science<\/em> vol. 33, Issue 10 (2022), p. 1-24.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:43px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A few things that are true: But here\u2019s the big thing: There\u2019s a famous story of one of Jesus&#8217; healings in which a person needs help even getting to Jesus. 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