Sometimes when we at the Institute of Leadership and Service (ILAS) work with students, we ask them about u-turns or pivots in their lives. In a recent conversation, several students mentioned the pivot that was their current major, or even their decision to come to Valpo. It caused me to remember my own journey here. When I came to Valpo, I was breaking a family tradition of attending a different university in my home state of South Dakota. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The previous family tradition was a place that shaped me in my childhood, and continues to be a part of who I am. But Valpo is my home now, and the alma mater of a new generation of my family members. I was fortunate that the decision of which college to attend was not accompanied by too much pressure or guilt. I can think back with gratitude on the people and places that shaped me as a child, and also appreciate the directions my own path has taken me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, the expectations of family and friends can be part of the fraught nature of those u-turns or pivots that we were speaking with some students about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Whose expectations do you carry with you? Are they spoken or unspoken? College students often carry the expectations of parents who are excited for a forthcoming career. Many times these expectations are well-intentioned and bring with them a desire for the child to fulfill their potential and find happiness. That doesn\u2019t mean they are always experienced that way. Sometimes the expectations can feel like great burdens. Or, they may feel like distractions from a preferable path.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the Institute for Leadership and Service (ILAS) we have been reading Bonnie J. Miller-McLemore\u2019s new book, Follow Your Bliss and Other Lies about Calling<\/a>. In chapter one on \u201cMissed Callings,\u201d a section entitled \u201cKnow your Ancestors\u201d points out that sometimes we need to \u201crefuse<\/em> the ordinations that our ancestors can sometimes foist upon us.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n A parent looks forward to a child following the family business, while a grandparent of the same child looks forward to their ordination as a pastor. Another child\u2019s father hopes for a stable career in business, but the child has a passion for English. Another child\u2019s parents are thrilled for their child to be in college, but don\u2019t really understand what that means for demands on the student\u2019s time and energy, which can feel like a lack of support. While our callings are always shaped by communities, family, and environments around us, this shaping can be both life-giving and feel like a lot of pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This fall a group of faculty and staff across campus are working to prepare the All Saints\/Day of the Dead altars that go on display across campus from the end of October through the first days of November. This year\u2019s theme is \u201cMy loved one\u2019s memory continues to guide me on my path.\u201d We are really leaning into the imagery of the labyrinth as a metaphor for calling\u2014our lives a pilgrimage that don\u2019t follow straight roads but rather curving ones. <\/p>\n\n\n\n We know that loved ones that have gone before us, whether relatives from generations ago or siblings, peers, or close friends we knew in our own lives but now gone, helped to make us who we are. Their memory also continues to shape us, even as they have passed on. This is a beautiful legacy. Those loved ones encouraged us, challenged us, hugged us when we were feeling down, had fun with us, and saw us in our best and worst moments. <\/p>\n\n\n\n These loved ones also had their own expectations for us, which may or may not have matched with our dreams for ourselves. Even as we celebrate the legacy of those who guide our paths, we can also remember, as Miller-McLemore helpfully suggests, that some parts of legacy can be hard, painful, or just confusing. That\u2019s ok; those loved ones and their expectations are not any less a part of our complicated callings. And we can continue to do the reflective work of unpacking our callings and all that come with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you would like to send a photo of a deceased loved one for inclusion on one of the ofrendas <\/em>around campus, use this link<\/a>. You can share the photo, as well as answer a few questions that will be used as a caption for the photo. You can also indicate at which of the following locations on campus you would like the photo to appear: Gloria Christi Chapel (lower level), the Christopher Center (2nd floor), the Harre Union (Grand Lounge), Wesemann Hall, Mueller Hall, Urschel Hall, and Loke Hall (Brave Space).<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 Deaconess Kat Peters Sometimes when we at the Institute of Leadership and Service (ILAS) work with students, we ask them about u-turns or pivots in their lives. 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Assistant Director
Institute for Leadership and Service<\/p>\n\n\n\n