Maybe your extended family does this too: when we get together, we always tell the stories of the same memories. Over and over. For us, they\u2019re often stories from when my younger brother and I were kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like that time my mom caught me, in church, nibbling on a frozen chicken nugget I\u2019d smuggled in my pocket. (I thought it would get cooked in there by the time I needed a snack.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or the time my three-year-old brother was caught by an ocean wave and tumbled into the Pacific. My parents still talk about how lightning-quick I pulled him back out of the water, so I like to refer to it as: \u201cThe Time I Saved John\u2019s Life.\u201d John, however, insists on calling it: \u201cThat Time You Tried to Drown Me!!!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or the time my mom walked me into my first day at Little Lambs Preschool, which met in our church\u2019s building. As she opened the door, I looked up at her and said, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Mama. I know how to get there. You can go now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My parents have a lot of stories like that last one. Stories where a young me acts so independent that it leaves them shocked, laughing, and maybe feeling a little rejected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m rather proud of those stories. I like to imagine a child version of myself being so confident. I like to think of myself today as confident and independent, able to get by on my own. After all, our culture values these qualities \u2013 and with some very good reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yet I also know I can be independent to a foolish degree. I will often wander a store for 30 minutes rather than ask a salesperson for help. And I can be self-sufficient to a harmful extent: like, \u201cYes, I broke my leg \u2013 but no, I\u2019m fine, I can still do everything on my own.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes I want to be independent \u2013 and other times I just don\u2019t want to be a bother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Last year, students in the first-year program were asked to rank their top five reasons for not asking others for support. The top two answers \u2013 and by significant margins \u2013 were: \u201cNot wanting to be a burden to others\u201d and \u201cfeeling like I need to be strong and handle myself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The thing is, that\u2019s not how we (faculty\/staff) want our students to feel, right? We want them to come to office hours and ask for help understanding the class material. We want them to make use of tutors and the Writing Center. We hope they connect with peer mentors and the Counseling Center and financial support services and career support. We want them to ask<\/em> when they need help \u2013 and we find it heartbreaking (or just frustrating) when they don\u2019t. Because seeking out that support is essential to being successful in their college careers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And yet<\/em> the students swim in the waters of our culture, where independence is valued over seeking help. So if we want them to feel like it’s okay to ask for help, we\u2019re going to have to intentionally build a different culture here. A culture that encourages asking for help; that celebrates successes achieved with support from others; where we express gratitude for opportunities to help each other. A culture that names seeking and accepting support as a strength.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And hey, maybe that culture will be better for all of us \u2013 especially in these times that are so difficult for higher education.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To help get the conversation started, this year\u2019s theme for Morning Prayer is: \u201cThat Time I Asked for Help.\u201d On Mondays we will be hearing reflections from faculty and staff from around the University, and they will share stories of times they made the decision to ask for some help. (If you\u2019ve got a story you would like to share, please contact Pastor Jim!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n We hope that this will encourage students to take that awkward risk of asking for help when they need it. We also hope it will help all of us to keep in mind that we do need support sometimes \u2013 and that is a good thing! <\/p>\n\n\n\n Jesus said: \u201cAsk, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!\u201d (Matthew 7:7-11)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 Pastor Kate<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rev. Katherine Museu<\/a>s<\/em> and Rev. James A. Wetzstein<\/a> serve as university pastors at the Chapel of the Resurrection at Valparaiso University and take turns writing weekly devotions<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Maybe your extended family does this too: when we get together, we always tell the stories of the same memories. Over and over. For us, they\u2019re often stories from when […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":847,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"_tribe_blocks_recurrence_rules":"","_tribe_blocks_recurrence_description":"","_tribe_blocks_recurrence_exclusions":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[7,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-339","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-katherine-museus","category-csl-newsletter-devotionals"],"acf":[],"author_meta":{"display_name":"dev@eridesign.com","author_link":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/author\/deveridesign-com\/"},"featured_img":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2024\/08\/Devotion-Graphics-2024-25-1-300x169.webp","coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["Katherine Museus<\/a>","CSL Newsletter Devotionals<\/a>"],"unlinked":["Katherine Museus<\/span>","CSL Newsletter Devotionals<\/span>"]}},"comment_count":"0","relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 2 years ago","modified":"Updated 1 year ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on August 21, 2024","modified":"Updated on August 18, 2025"},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on August 21, 2024 3:47 pm","modified":"Updated on August 18, 2025 8:15 pm"},"featured_img_caption":"","series_order":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/339","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=339"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/339\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":848,"href":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/339\/revisions\/848"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/847"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=339"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=339"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.valpo.edu\/devotionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=339"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}